Just a cop
by Andieke
Summary: My attempt of a one shot after the last episode. My take on how they deal with the forgotten birthday and how Deeks is when he overhears a part of a conversation about him.


**First one shot, not something I usually do. But since Deeks and I share a birthday I figured I could write one :)  
I took what happened in the last episode and meshed it with an idea for another story that wasn't going anywhere. I hope it's as good as I believe it to be :):)**

**Anyway, do not own NCIS LA (althought if I did, things would be different :))**

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It wasn't raining, it was pouring with rain. The wind had taken up and now beat down on a small stone building along what could be called a road. Next to the building a car stood abandoned. Not that he could see the car, he could see the outline of the car, mostly because he knew it was there. Rain beat down on the window making it difficult to see much. Not that there was much to see if you asked him. It wasn't the desert but the middle of nowhere and as far as he was concerned the middle of nowhere was as bad as the desert. Truth be told it wasn't as middle of nowhere like he pretended it had been when they stranded, but he wasn't in the mood to be forgiving. The more he looked outside, the more his mood began to resemble the turmoil outside. Oh yeah he was angry and not a fiber inside him was ready to release the tension inside of him.

If only they had remained on the main road, he wouldn't be sitting here, but at home with Monty by his side feeling sorry for himself. But no his oh so brilliant partner had to go off road, miss a stupid hole in the road and break the suspension of the car. Apparently his 'Anything you can do, I can do better ' partner doesn't know some James Bond type of way to fix the broken suspension and because of that they are stranded here, inside a little thingy, a one room building along the road. He doesn't want to know why it was build or what could be lurking underneath the half loose floorboards. He had been given one moment of joy in this entire mess. Sam and Callen were with them and while they had been all 'go for it' when Kensi mentioned the off road route, they had been on the different side when stranded. Both had something to say about the situation and both took the word to tell them exactly how they felt. A part of him told him to come to her rescue and in a normal situation he would have. But this was her mess and for once he would let her dig herself out of it.

His one hope had been Hetty. But clearly she wasn't in a mood to get help to them in a rather quick way. She had calmly informed Callen that the weather didn't call for a rescue, not if the origin of their troubles could be found within themselves. Oh Hetty could be cruel. When Callen informed Hetty that he had nothing to with it, their boss calmly informed him that as special agent in charge he could have told Kensi to stay on the main road, which he didn't. Therefore the reason of their troubles could be find within themselves and since their life wasn't on the line and they actually had shelter she had seen no need to send out a rescue party. Most of the time he admired Hetty, basically for what she stood for, for what she survived and probably the most of the chance she had given him, but right now he despised her. But then he despised the entire world at this very moment and he could hear her tell him that it didn't count if that was the case.

'Deeks' It's just his name being called by he can hear the question mark in it. She wants to know what's going on, well let her try and figure it out on her own. He doesn't feel at all inclined to help her out. He does however shift his gaze from the window to his partner across the room from him. It's deliberate, the sitting arrangements, well on his account they are, across from them as far away as possible inside the little cube of a place. The less he can irritate someone and then lash out to them. He might be known as the good natured, goofy kind of a guy, but still he has some serious anger burning below it all and at the moment it's very close to erupt. That's why he remains quiet, just letting the shift of his gaze tell them that he has indeed heard them.

She sees him looking at him, but remaining silent. And perhaps, after seeing his face that's the best idea. He's angry, his entire body radiating the emotion, she can almost see the steam coming from his eyes but refrains from telling him that.  
While she has no desire to deal with her angry partner, curious Kensi wants to know what's eating him up, what's keeping the fire burning inside of him. But she doesn't speak out after his name, something tells her not to mess with her partner. At least not if you don't want to end up being bitten. On top of that, she's convinced that if he lashes out it will be at her. After all she's the one that got them in this mess. He had been the one pointing out the dangers of going off road with the car, especially this car but as usually she had known better. The look on his face after they hit the hole and then her informing them she couldn't fix it had told her all she needed to know. She just counted her blessings he didn't tell her 'I told you so'. Although somehow she prefers that to angry Deeks.

Her biggest concern at this moment was not the fact that they were stranded her. They would get on their way home, no way Hetty would leave them all here for hours if the storm didn't let up soon. No the main reason of concern to her was that Deeks' anger hadn't been only because of the car and them stranding here. No he had been moody the entire day and had blatantly refused to be the goofy natured kind of a partner she had come to love. Not that she doesn't know what's eating him up, it only being a day ago, but still. Even for Deeks this was a long period of staying angry with them.

'Hey Deeks, you look like a special someone forgot your birthday' she can hear Sam say and just wishes he kept his mouth shut.

One look at her partner tells her Sam hit a nerve and the anger spiked even higher. Because someone did forget his birthday, she did. Well they all did, until Hetty told them, but she of all people should have known. With his comments about how quickly the year went, and how before you know it eight days had nearly passed. But screw that, he's her partner, she should have known his birthday was January 8th and not the 18th. And when she told him that the reservations where really for someone else, and there for admitting that she had really forgotten about his birthday, her heart broke. The way his face turned down in disappointment, only for a brief second though as the walls soon were up again and he told her he understood. Especially when she told him who the other person was and what the reason behind it was. She didn't want him to understand, she had wanted him to be angry, screaming at the top of his lungs kind of angry, so they could get in a shouting match and thereafter having a nice making up session, just watching some movies, eating junk food and god knows what could happen after that. Although that last part meant she had to go digging through her own feelings and she's not quite sure she's ready for that battle.

She went by his place last night, just a little after 11 pm. Only a little while before had she managed to escape Jaime and his mother without letting them feel she was dumping them. Not that she wasn't dumping them, but hey it didn't mean she didn't have manners. His car had been in his usual spot, but the lights had been off. She had spend 10 minutes debating whether to go in or not. She wouldn't even need her lock picking skills as she had his key for emergencies. But in the end she had decided against it. Now, in the cold light of day it seemed the biggest mistake of her life. F  
She had ditched her partner, on his birthday and for who? A criminal? She had picked a criminal over her own partner. Okay a criminal that saved her life, but still a criminal. She had opted to spend an evening, a very awkward evening she might add to thank Jaime for saving her life, while she could have spend with it her 'hotter than hot' partner. A partner who didn't mind to watch the cheesy TV shows she loved, only because he liked to spend his time with her.

Thinking about her reasons for ditching him, she's starts to feel cold. She picked Jaime over him because he saved her life. Okay from a serious position but actually thinking about it makes her believe the guys would have figured something out, Deeks would have figured something out. Just like he did with the laser beams or with Vakar, he had always known how to have her back and to let nothing happen to her. He had saved her life a lot of times and a whole lot more then Jaime. But still she had ditched Deeks and quite frankly for what? She had ditched him for Jaime, who clearly could work on his fitness levels and who stooped low enough to present her as his girlfriend to his mama. Anyway who brings his mama along to a thank you diner?  
Even Deeks wouldn't go that low. Oh there might be looks, deliberate misunderstandings, turning of the words but in the end he would be man enough to admit that he was just her work partner. And besides a girl can only dream right? And what if she would enjoy the way he would move over, close the gap between them and pretty much forces himself inside her personal space? She's only human after all.

But right now, it doesn't look like he's invading her personal space anytime soon. It even looks like he doesn't want to be here. Well she doesn't want to be here as well and only has herself to blame for it. Why he doesn't want to be here, she can't figure out, it's not to unpack that many birthday gifts. But then she realizes. Deeks didn't have many friends outside his work. Even inside his work he didn't have many friends. Outside this team, the only ones he's often in contact with are his informants and she doesn't see them sending him any gifts. No, they wouldn't and that makes it even worse, because the people he has come to see as family forgot entirely about his birthday. Some probably wouldn't even bother to look it up. No, the only reason he's not happy about being here, is because he has to spend his time with them, the ones that stood him up.

Of course Sam has to pick up the vibe Deeks' has been sending but reads it completely wrong.

'Hey, Shaggy, don't worry, this storm doesn't stay here forever and even if it does, Mommy Hetty will have us out of here before you know it. No need to be afraid.'

She knows it's meant as a joke, not a good one but still a joke. She also knows he's not in the mood to be the butt of a joke and by just looking at him she can tell it hit a nerve. The knot in her stomach constricts even more when he eyes them all and then slowly rises. For a split moment she actually believes Deeks is going to take on Sam, to let him know what he thinks of the stupid joke, but he doesn't. He makes his way over to the door and it's only when his hands reaches for the knob that the silence between them is broken enough.

'Deeks, where are you going?' Sam asks, just a hint of concern in his voice. Great she thinks, now he seems to realize something isn't alright with Deeks.

'Out' is the short reply.

'Deeks! It's storming outside, have you gone completely mad?' Sam asks.

'No, but really what does it mean to you he, Sam.' Deeks only pauses long enough to cast a look at Sam. 'In the end I'm just a cop, right?'

And with that he steps outside and disappears into the stormy weather outside.

He doesn't throw the door close behind him, but still they can clearly hear it being closed, the silence so heavy she can hear the other two breathe. Deeks had overheard the conversation they had had in the bullpen this morning, only they had no idea he had. And now the reason for his anger, the built up anger had been explained. First they forgot his birthday and now they had pretty much confessed he didn't measure up. Not that he didn't, if only he had overheard the entire conversation. But clearly he hadn't and quite frankly she couldn't blame his reactions.

'I can't believe we didn't notice him' Sam says and immediately knows it's the wrong thing to say.

'Maybe if you hadn't said it in the first place!' Kensi nearly yells and he can tell she's angry. Well the look on her face told him everything he needed to know.

'And did you have to add that birthday thing as well?'

'what?' Sam asks.

'We forgot his birthday, remember, like only just a day ago?' Kensi explains 'and here you are making fun at it'

'I,…' Sam stammers, trying to find a way out of this mess.

'oh come on Kens, like those reservations weren't for him' Callen decides to join in.

Her insides turns to ice at that comment and realizes they had no idea something was up. They figured everything was alright because she would have lied to him in the first place, only to later on reveal he had been the butt of some crazy joke. Callen seems to catch on to reality pretty quickly guessing by his face. oh, she thinks, he's about to find out everything is not good, far from it to be exact.

'Those weren't for him?' he manages to ask and in the meanwhile praying that he's just reading her wrong. He had felt bad about not knowing it had been Deeks' birthday yesterday. As a foster child himself he knew the pain of people not knowing or not caring. He had planned to say something this morning to the shaggy haired cop, but Deeks hadn't showed in the bullpen. The first time they had seen him, was in Ops and the vibe coming from the cop had told a clear story, 'leave me alone'.

He had figured it was about the place they were headed. Deeks never like the desert and it seemed to extent to places in the middle of nowhere too. It never occurred to him that Kensi didn't take Deeks out for diner, only faking how she had forgotten about his birthday. But by the looks of it she had truly forgotten about it.

'No'

'Then who were they for?' The question is a logic step from the other one, but part of him doesn't want to know because no matter what it's going to be bad.

'Jaime' her voice is a whisper and he needs to strain his ears to actually hear it. At first he doesn't respond, doesn't know how to respond. The force of it hitting him hard and it feels like all the air is being knocked out of his lungs. Judging by Sam's stance he's feeling the same. He presumes he does a good imitation of a fish out on the dry, with his mouth opening and closing. But no matter what he tries he can't help it, the movements. Seconds pass, and he has a feeling minutes do as well before he manages to get a hold on himself and finds the ability to speak again.

'Jaime?' he asks, she only nods. He turns to face the wall, he needs to face the wall if only to gather his thoughts.

'so let's see I get this right.' He starts, when he turned back from the wall, facing her.

'You actually forgot your partner's birthday. To make things worse, he overhears you making dinner reservations, but only to have his hopes smashed when he learns they are not for him, but for someone else. Oh I bet he really loved it, when he learned it would be Jaime that had the pleasure of dining with you.' Callen says. She can only nod to his statement.

'I…, I mean, … we….. WHY?' He finds it every hard to remain calm and nearly yells the last words at her. He's immediately sorry as he sees her blinking her eyes. She's hurting too and he figures she's beating herself up over it.

'He,… I wanted to thank him for saving my life.'

He wants to say so much but the words die on his lips, no need to tell her she's wrong, she clearly knows herself. Sam however doesn't seem to feel the same restraint as he does.

'Really? I mean seriously? ' Kensi nearly starts to cry when Sam questions her and Callen starts to feel sorry for her.

'Sam, I… I couldn't just stand him up' Her voices sounds weak, like she's not even believe it herself.

' but you had no problem with Deeks being the one left alone, on his birthday no less.'

'I know!' she nearly yells. ' You don't need to point out what I did wrong okay, I know'.

It seems to shake Sam out of his state as he closes the gap to the female agent and grabs her by the shoulder. He does it softly and nearly pulls her into a hug.

'Listen Kens, I'll go out there and apologize for what I said. I suggest you do the same.' He softly tells her, she only nods in agreement. The only problem, she had no idea how to do just that. Not that she has to do it right now as Sam makes his way over to the door.

The rain pours down and he's completely soaked to the bone after only a couple of seconds. But he doesn't mind, he barely registers as he makes his way to the car and pulls open the rear door.

He's lying on the back seat, creating a rather large wet stain on the fabric of the seat. It's only then that he realized he made a pretty bad move. The car had been unlocked, but he hadn't the car keys with him. Therefore he couldn't start the car and turn the heater on. Great he figured, I walked out on them and now I'm going to freeze. His anger disappears with the same speed he's cooling down and with it the burning heat inside of him. Not that he's in any danger of freezing to death here, but still he could catch a nice cold out here and he only had to thank himself for it. if only he could get over it, just let it go. But he can't, not about the forgotten birthday and not about what they had said about him when they didn't think he would hear. He feels alone, totally only on this world and tears are pricking behind his eyes. He blinks a few times to make them go away, he doesn't want to give them the satisfaction of seeing him crying.

He doesn't know how long he's being lying there. He's looking at the ceiling of the car, his mind miles away. He comes back to earth as he hears the car door open and sees Sam getting inside the car, pretty much as wet as he was when he entered the car.

They remain quiet for awhile, both looking at all the parts of the car, but not each other. He never was one to use big gestures of fancy words. He usually went for the rather blunt way, to just point things out. But right now Sam realized he was struggling to find the right words. In the end he just decided to say what was on his mind.

'Deeks'

Ocean blue eyes shift from the roof of the car to him and he finds himself starring at them. It's like Deeks is daring him to look away, to break the connection first but he stands his ground, they'll get through this.

'I came to say I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said it.' It seems to have the required effect as Deeks' features grow softer. There not out of the woods yet, but Sam knows that admitting he was wrong brought them a huge step forward. Sometimes admitting what you have said and then apologizing for it was the easiest way out.

'But I want you know what context I have said it in.' And adding an explanation was even better. He can tell by the way the younger man is looking at him, that he wants to know but doesn't want to ask. Luckily Sam had already planned on telling him.

'We were discussing the case from yesterday. And while it wasn't the nicest way of putting it, I never meant to insult you. I was merely explaining that you were reacting more like a cop and not like a special agent. And why I should tell you off for it, especially after all the lessons I told you about personal safety, I do have to thank you. We all have to thank you, because your reaction , you stepping inside that garage saved the operation. You did the right thing, even with knowing you would be made the minute you stepped inside, but you doing so gave Callen and me the time to arrive and somewhat save the day.'

' You are a cop at heart, Deeks and I shouldn't have talked that way. But even if you are just a cop, you're a good one. And perhaps the most important part, you're our cop.'

'you for real?' comes the weak reply and Sam wants to pummel everyone in Deeks' life who told him he wasn't good enough.

'would I lie to you?' he asked.

'no' Deeks replies and that somewhat ends the conversation. They continue to sit there for a while, enjoying the quietness of the car. Well as long as you ignore the rain pounding in the roof of the car.  
As he makes his way to the door, ready to leave for the building again, Deeks' voice makes him stop.  
'Sam?'

'Yeah?'

'Thanks'

'You're welcome'

She doesn't get the chance to talk to her partner before they leave to LA. Deeks doesn't enter the building with Sam, despite the big man saying everything is okay between them. Not much later the storm lets off and a good hour later a car arrives to take them home. Deeks took to the back of the car and remained quiet during the entire ride home. But she's not as worried as she was before. His body language telling her that the anger has died down and that Sam apologizing actually worked.

Hetty gives them the rest of the day off and Kensi suddenly has a suspicion Hetty was fully aware of what had been said this morning and what could have happened inside the little building. Hetty always seemed to know what was going on and it wouldn't surprise her at all that everything that had occurred today had been part of the plan.

Still she needs to talk to her partner and just like Sam apologize for her behavior from yesterday and basically leaving him behind. She's sitting at her desk, alone in the bullpen. She's never one to just say the words, she's not good with emotions and likes to let her gestures speak for themselves. Suddenly an idea hits her and she leaves. There is much to do and so little time to do so.

He didn't let Hetty tell him twice that they have the day off. Sam apologizing meant the world to him, but he still needed to get out, to get the kinks out of his system. And being a surfer he only knows one way to do it. The weather isn't great, the temperature of the water a little cooler then he would have liked, but it does the trick. His mind is clear of anything as he makes the trip back to his car. Perhaps he needs to let down, just accept that they have forgotten it. In the end it's just a birthday. He's almost there, but not just quiet there. There is still some left over anger but he pushes it down. No need to ruin the rest of the day by it.

Entering his home, he immediately knows something is not okay. Before he's fully inside his home his spidery senses are being put on high alert. Monty should be there, running towards him the minute he puts his key into the keyhole. But the telltale scratching of the paws is absent and worry starts to take over. Slowly he walks in, hand near his gun. But the second he's fully inside, he stands there frozen in his spot. Inside his home, in what could be called his dining area his table stands, fully set up for two. It has the whole package, right up to the candles and the flowers.

He feels her being there before she steps inside his vision, looking different. Just like the table, she's bringing the entire package. A nice dress, hugging her just right, her hair done pretty much to perfection, the same with the makeup. He finds it difficult to swallow as thoughts begin to form inside his mind and he opens his mouth to voice them. But she silences him.

'why don't you take a shower. Dinner will be ready when you're back.'

He does as he's being told. Well hard not to when he's nearly pushed towards his bathroom. Inside he finds clothing already being laid down, but he doesn't complain. He has an idea where this is going and because she's really making an effort he decides to go along.

As he steps out, smells come from the kitchen. But before he can go and investigate she's out again and pushes him towards the table.

'Kens….. ' he starts, but once again he get hushed into silence.

'I'm sorry.' She starts and this time she quiets him before the response forms inside his head.

'I screwed up yesterday, and today. But I'm really sorry about it. There is no excuse for forgetting your birthday and there is certainly none for standing you up like I have done. So I'm making it up to you. You wanted to go to dinner for you birthday and well you'll get your diner. '

She pushes him towards the seat and nearly forces him on to it. But there is one thing he needs to know before he throws himself into this adventure.

'did you….' But doesn't need to continue.

'no, I'm just warming it up.' she assures him and then walks back to the kitchen. Thoughts of what could go wrong by just warming things up enter his minds, but he cast them away. Yeah there is a lot of things that could go wrong, but still she's making an effort and he's going to go along with it.

It might be a day too late, but even before it actually has started he knows it's going to be the best birthday dinner ever.

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**Please, let me know what you think!**

**Reviews do make my day :)**


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